Cancer, life, and me

This was shot yesterday. The final walkthrough of our apartment. I’ll miss you, #2:

We moved out of our apartment this past weekend. The week or so before that was spent packing, cleaning, and trashing/donating most things we forgot we even had.

Our official last day is November 21, but just about all of our belongings are now moved.

I’m now coming to you live, from my same couch, but on the floor of my bro-in-law Gary’s house. He’s going through a loan modification process on his home. In the meantime, he and his family are in an apartment. He knew of our situation, and called me recently and offered us his home, rent-free (while the bank takes it time figuring out the home loan), as a place to stay. My wife and I thought it would be a good idea, and help to catch up with our debt.

Best case scenario: Gary’s loan modification goes well and he keeps his home. This would mean his trio (wife Kristen, son Garen) would move back in and then we’d share the place. 2 families and 2 silly cousins under one roof will be…interesting. I wonder which parent will have a heart attack first with those two hooligans (Lexi and Garen) running around?  BUT… I’m getting ahead of myself. In fact, I’ve gone back to basics, recently. When life goes too fast, I go back to what works. And what works? One day at a time.

Current state: exhausted and overwhelmed. But also grateful.

Thank you to family and friends for stepping up. Who knew? All I had to do was ask… Yeah, I’m tired and hurting, but this has all been bearable thanks to your support. I didn’t lift couches or heavy boxes or dressers. My family did. My wife did.

This week has been spent unpacking and organizing. Still a lot to do. Apologies for the unread emails and missed calls. Sometimes it just feels like there’s constant noise and static in every direction. It can be overbearing. Chaos. I’m not sure yet how to handle it well. For now,  I go “offline” purposefully.

I feel like I have a lot to say but…just exhausted. I’ll get to it. Thank you to everyone who has and is helping.

Hope remains.

Lemonade? Really?

…sometimes you get a bunch of rotten, putrid fruit.

This is a tough one to write, but here goes. Deep breath in… Step aside, pride…and go:

What happens when a family of three (plus a dog) suddenly makes about $440.00 less per month due to my leave of absence?

We were doing all right at first. It was tight, but manageable. But then, our single car completely broke down, and we had to scramble to get a replacement vehicle. The purchase of the new car hurt us financially, but it was a necessity. We began leaking money each month. My EDD (Employment Development Dept.) checks were barely enough to cover rent. Some bills lapsed. Then others.

My wife, being the super woman she is, decided to enroll in school to become a medical assistant. The goal is to get a higher-paying gig. She currently works as a preschool teacher and goes to night school.

I got my first collection notice on an account this past week. I laughed at first. I thought, “Ha! Is THIS supposed to worry me? In the midst of all the medical bullshit? Yeah, right!”

THEN, to make things just a little more colorful, EDD is way late on my latest check. We’re over-drafted. A LOT. As in, okay, NOW I’m worried. I wish there was such a thing as an antidepressant for actual life situations. You know, something that dispensed reality in doses easy enough to handle, as opposed to this barrage of stress.

Now…you may or may not have noticed that “Chris Rodriguez Family Fund” Donate button on the top-right. I hate talking about money. I really do. But, damnit…I’ve been honest all along here. I can’t leave out a crucial part of my (and my wife’s) stress and worry.

I guess I’m asking for help. As much as it pains me to admit that we need it. Your donation will go towards insurance premiums, clinic co-payments, utilities, food, and gas. Thank you for reading. This sucks.

I don’t want to completely depress you, so here’s something probably many of us can relate to:

Just a quick, but cool update. Remember “The Kind Budtender” (it’s just a few posts down)? Well, Crystal, one of the dispensary owners, got back to me yesterday saying that they would be honored to be mentioned on the site. Woohoo! So now I can fully credit the wonderful and BEST dispensary in Sacramento: Marconi Medical Center.

If you are a legal cannabis patient and in the area, please support them.

They know what they are doing and their hearts are most certainly in the right place. Thank you, again, to everyone at Marconi Medical Center, and to Nick (the manager) who was the first to extend a helping hand. You guys and gals are amazing!

Saw this on Facebook. Love it. Reminds me of a funny version of “My deepest, darkest fantasy“.